How the fuck am I supposed to be productive right now?

Facism and content creation are really at odds.

Photo by Kyle Cleveland on Unsplash

It’s fucking bleak out there, huh?

Watching innocent people get shot in the face by out of control federal law enforcement? Escalating global conflict and threats? Having people, included decorated military officers, labeled terrorists, agitators and insurrectionists because they—(checks notes)—state truthful things in the UCMJ or dare to dissent?

Yep. It makes my fucking head hurt. And the addle-pated, dementia-ridden, rotting, festering-syphillis-lesion-in-chief that is running around South America like an internet incel on a rampage gathering up oil for his billionaire buddies to help distract from being a leader of a pedophilia ring is just icing on the cake, innit?

When I met with my exec coach at the end of last year, I had this audacious goal to rekindle my own content platform, get focused on making more videos and writing again and committing to my own professional advancement outside my day job.

But how in the everloving fuck am I supposed to find the attention span for some article about being brave in your career or some vapid marketing axiom when every day feels like an act of courage just to fucking show up, stand up, and breathe?

It’s also rage-inducing to me that our Black and brown neighbors have been subject to this facism for centuries and we haven’t bothered to believe them about the threat until it looked like those of us with white skin. No matter how fucking progressive I wish to profess myself to be, even I have had to reckon with how easy it was at times to ignore what was happening because it wasn’t in my neighborhood. I will have to fucking live with that for the rest of my life, and so I’m committed to keeping my eyes wide the fuck open and never again underestimate just how systemic the rot in the system really is.

(If you too would like to deconstruct some of your own roots, whether in evangelical Christianity or systemic racism, please go follow Monte Mader on TikTok, YouTube and IG and in particular pick up the books she recommends in this video).

This is unfortunately more normal for the US than many of us would like to admit. But we do NOT have to continue accepting that.

And if you too are strugs to funk because you’re wondering how the fuck you’re supposed to find the attention span for a Teams call about the TPS reports when the world is on fire outside our fucking doors…you’re not alone.

You’re going to have to do what I am doing:

• Take fucking breaks. Go the fuck outside. Drink water. Get sleep. Get the fuck offline and the assault on your sensibilities. You have to take breaks.

• Learn to operate from the moment, not the distant horizon. Garth would say ‘Live in the now, man”. In horses we would say you have to ride the horse you have today. Every day you’re going to have to work from the resources you have, not the ones you wish you had.

• Find joy. Yes, I’m fucking serious. Joy is resistance and a defeated, hopeless population is one that is easily subjugated. Don’t you dare let them do that to you. Whatever it is you love doing, I want you to double down on finding time and space to do that thing.

• Be in community. Whether it’s one dear friend or your local interest group or even local politics (essential in the recovery we will have to orchestrate), be with other people. In real life. In your town, city, neighborhood, school. We heal AND resist in community, not isolation. And community is galvanizing when you feel alone.

• Get involved. I have worked elections on and off for many decades. I’m going to an event with an aspiring US Senator from IL this weekend to ask questions and listen to his stance on issues facing our country. But you can volunteer, phone bank, fundraise, canvas, register to work the polls, even run for something in your own community. Remember, US policy roots alllll the way down to local communities and the policymakers we bring up through the system.

But you don’t have to just fucking grind out more TPS reports every day without acknowledging that it’s really fucking hard right now to switch between watching state-sanctioned violence on your social media feeds and then just showing up to talk about the quarterly sales conference. It’s hard. Some days, it might even feel impossible. But your self-preservation is also important, and your livelihood is what allows you to take care of yourself or your animals or your families to weather this horrific storm.

I don’t have anything bright and fucking shiny to say today. I really don’t. I’m tired. I’m really fucking angry.

But I am not alone, and neither are you. They are fucking afraid of us, and they should be. We outnumber them, and they’re going to make it painful, but they’re not going to win in the end.

You hang in there, you hear? I see you. Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s doing it scared. And we’re not fucking giving up, okay?

Okay.

xoxo